Skip to main content

02: My life without pharmaceutical drugs poisoning me...

December16, 2020

Today I went to see my grandmother with my brother.She showed me the bunch of medications that she needs to take now that she is back from the hospital.There was a lot of pills,that was scary. Now that I understand how pharmaceutical drugs is dangerous and also how evil this industry is, I freaked out for a moment, knowing that I was powerless in this situation. I felt guilty to leave her in the unknown of the danger that all this chemicals can do to her.

I took a look at the rainbow pills on her desk and remarks one in particular, it was a pill that I used to take for a while during the last few years of my life named Zoloft. It's been 10 months now that I am free from the bunch of anti-depressant that I was taking and I never felt so great in my entire life. Those pills was keeping me dumb and make me feel like a pure vegetable,it was simply suppressing my ability to think clearly. I was pissed off to know that my grandma was forced to take this crap that I free myself from ten months ago. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger as an emotional negative reaction when I saw the bunch of chemicals on the desk of my grandma because I knew I was powerless in this situation and felt guilty about my knowledge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty about a situation where a cannot do anything about on the spot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be pissed of about the pharmaceutical industry creating a negative energy within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let a memory of the past ruin the present moment with my grandma that I am grateful to still have on earth with us.

When and as I see myself have a negative emotional reaction thinking about pharmaceutical drugs, I stop and breathe. I realize that I should have used my breathe to calm myself and enjoy the present moment with my grandma instead of ruined it with negative thoughts and memory associated with medications. I realize that anger can be a really good thing when you know how to use it correctly by turning it into your advantage and be way more effective than in the "normal" state so , I commit myself to use it the right way, by standing up in front of this abuse and let people know that there is a way out. 

I commit myself to increase the level of education of the more people I can during my entire life process by showing the powerful tools I am currently using which is Techno Tutor and Dip.

I commit myself to dedicate myself for the preparation of the next wave for the creation of a world that is best for all life where everybody is equal. 

I commit myself to be always live in the present moment and assist myself one breath at the time if I catch myself thinking about events of the past.



 

 

Comments

  1. If I may add one piece of self forgiveness...I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having emotional reactions when seeing all of the pills my grandmother has been prescribed.

    Commit yourself to stop self judgement.

    Realise that each and every emotional reaction is valid . To judge is to resist what is here. It is to deny all is one as all is equal, including the emotions.

    Through acceptance of this, the emotional energy dissapears and you will notice, how stability manifests as breathing.

    Hopelessness is another guise in which fear manifests. Again, through acceptance of this, one has the ability to determine ones own emotional state. Acceptance leads to stability as breath, here. From here, one can choose how to move oneself in this reality - to the point were one uses common sense. But the most common thing to do at the moment is to stop self judgement.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 3 : Friendship or Bullshit ?

  December 17, 2020 My definition of friendship / relationship has changed a lot since I started my process. I've come to realize that the major part of my life, all the relationships I had allowed was only pure bullshit. Everything was based on self-interest and nothing else. I noticed that the better I felt, the smaller my circle was. At the beginning I was kind of disappointed and I was questioning myself a lot. I wasn't sure that It was the right thing to do but, at this moment I wasn't able to process the information like the way I do now. I was not really aware of the power of the ego within me, it took me a while to accept the fact that my entire life was a pure lie and that I was living it by playing a character who wasn't the real me in the physical world.  Now that I have accepted it and work on myself everyday by walking my process, all of the people I used to know as friends have almost completely disappeared from my life to let place for new people all a

Day 16 : My experience with hypnosis

January 6, 2021 When I was 14 or 15 years old, I remember that my mom bought  us ticket for a show, it was a hypnosis show with a man called Messmer, he is very popular here in Canada and also in France. At the first part of the show he tried something with all the public to see who is a good potential person to be on stage and it did not worked on me. I was looking at those on stage who were hypnotized and I thought it was impossible to agree to do such stupid things in front of a huge public like this and that it must be a show that is prepared in advance with those person who agreed to go on the stage before the show and acted like it worked. At the second part of the show he tried another thing, we had to put our hands together with our two index up only, separate from one another. We had to closed our eyes and he said a thing like " okay now, you feel your two index come closer and closer and more closer... after that he said " okay now, those who have their fingers stuc

Day 7 : Life of a party

December 22, 2020 Sometimes I wonder why I am the only one in the family of three children who turns out to be the most fucked up. I was the one who end up with every addiction possible ,  I was the only one who moved out of town and lived the life of a party animal, avoiding every single responsibility I could. I end up pretty bad and if my brother wouldn't have introduce me to Techno Tutor and Dip, I would have been dead right now.  I used to take so much drugs and alcohol on a regular basis and spending every single dollars I had on my addictions when I was " stable " enough to fit in the system and had a job to pay for it. When I did not had a job because I would lose it, I would always find a way out to get what I wanted. If that implied to stayed in a fucked up place with fucked up people during several days I was doing it without any hesitation. I was getting high all day and all night long hoping that nothing too bad  would happened to me. I fed my demons during s