December16, 2020
Today I went to see my grandmother with my brother.She showed me the bunch of medications that she needs to take now that she is back from the hospital.There was a lot of pills,that was scary. Now that I understand how pharmaceutical drugs is dangerous and also how evil this industry is, I freaked out for a moment, knowing that I was powerless in this situation. I felt guilty to leave her in the unknown of the danger that all this chemicals can do to her.
I took a look at the rainbow pills on her desk and remarks one in particular, it was a pill that I used to take for a while during the last few years of my life named Zoloft. It's been 10 months now that I am free from the bunch of anti-depressant that I was taking and I never felt so great in my entire life. Those pills was keeping me dumb and make me feel like a pure vegetable,it was simply suppressing my ability to think clearly. I was pissed off to know that my grandma was forced to take this crap that I free myself from ten months ago.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger as an emotional negative reaction when I saw the bunch of chemicals on the desk of my grandma because I knew I was powerless in this situation and felt guilty about my knowledge.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty about a situation where a cannot do anything about on the spot.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be pissed of about the pharmaceutical industry creating a negative energy within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let a memory of the past ruin the present moment with my grandma that I am grateful to still have on earth with us.
When and as I see myself have a negative emotional reaction thinking about pharmaceutical drugs, I stop and breathe. I realize that I should have used my breathe to calm myself and enjoy the present moment with my grandma instead of ruined it with negative thoughts and memory associated with medications. I realize that anger can be a really good thing when you know how to use it correctly by turning it into your advantage and be way more effective than in the "normal" state so , I commit myself to use it the right way, by standing up in front of this abuse and let people know that there is a way out.
I commit myself to increase the level of education of the more people I can during my entire life process by showing the powerful tools I am currently using which is Techno Tutor and Dip.
I commit myself to dedicate myself for the preparation of the next wave for the creation of a world that is best for all life where everybody is equal.
I commit myself to be always live in the present moment and assist myself one breath at the time if I catch myself thinking about events of the past.
If I may add one piece of self forgiveness...I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having emotional reactions when seeing all of the pills my grandmother has been prescribed.
ReplyDeleteCommit yourself to stop self judgement.
Realise that each and every emotional reaction is valid . To judge is to resist what is here. It is to deny all is one as all is equal, including the emotions.
Through acceptance of this, the emotional energy dissapears and you will notice, how stability manifests as breathing.
Hopelessness is another guise in which fear manifests. Again, through acceptance of this, one has the ability to determine ones own emotional state. Acceptance leads to stability as breath, here. From here, one can choose how to move oneself in this reality - to the point were one uses common sense. But the most common thing to do at the moment is to stop self judgement.