Day 42 : God and beliefs

March 4, 2021

I never believed in God. I always felt like there was something bigger than me but not the typical image of God created by the Christians. My perception of God was an energy that exist around us and that is powerful than everything and everyone. I thought that it was more like the universe itself. Actually, it is really similar of how Christians imagine the God they are believing in.

I wasn't praying this energy but I was sometimes asking to this energy to help me when I was in trouble or when I really wanted something to happen. How stupid?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that we all have been programmed to think that we are less than what we can really be so we can stay enslaved in the system without asking any questions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have been raised with religious family members and that my perception of God was coming from religion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be delusional and ask things to something that exist just in my mind and live through hope and believe that things will magically appear by itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that an energy was powerful than everything and everyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act the same way as every religious person - with beliefs and hope.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there was no powerful forces that will have help me do my things and that it was in fact, just the result of me living through fear or desires and who didn't want to take any actions to get out of the trouble or make any effort to obtain what I wanted.

I realize that religion , God, love and light and spirituality exists only to keep the humanity busy with delusional beliefs to make sure that nobody find out the real solution to make this world a better place. I also realize that the system is design for us human being to think that we will never reach the point of equality with "God" or with whatever we have been brainwashed with and that God is in fact the physical.

I commit myself to show that beliefs are bullshit and that only the certainty of the self can be trusted.

I commit myself to show the Desteni material to those who are ready to listen.

I commit myself to be equal and one with the word God.

Comments

Day 22 : Why do I hate priest

January 20, 2021 At the age of 7 years old, I had a course where we were sitting in circle and talked about Jesus during hours and at the age of 8, our parents had the choice to put us in a course called moral instead of Jesus course. I was begged my parents to go in this new class because I didn't give a damn about Jesus. They refused because both of them have been raised with a Christian mom and that was the way they were programed. They were not fanatic of it but we still went to church for special event like when someone get married or when a new baby was born to get his baptism. My two brothers and I also had to do this Jesus course at church. There was three different steps and these course were on a period of three years. I made the first and the second course but I begged my parents to end it there because it was ridiculous for me to do that, we weren't that much people at school doing that and I was ashamed. I didn't had to make the third course, I was so gratef...

Day 17 : Fear of bees

January 7, 2021 Last summer, I was making a BBQ outside on the balcony and there was a lot of bees around so I looked for the source to see if it was close to me and I remarked a little honeycomb very close to the door. My first reaction was fear because it triggered a really bad memory within me. I wanted it to be burned immediately because that's what my father used to do when there was one to close to the house. When I was a 9 years old, I was playing in the schoolyard with my friends and I had this brilliant idea to go on the other side of the fence, I was feeling adventurous. My two friends went first and they passed in the little forest with ease without anything happening. When it was my turn to jump the fence, I did it successfully but I got stuck in something. I thought it was one of those plants that have some spikes on it so I didn't want to moved in case I make the situation worst. It started to become really painful all over my body so I started to freaked out and...

Day 12 : Eating disorder/Anorexia

January 1st, 2021 I talked about my self-image problem in a previous blog that I wrote and I wanted to come back on the point of the anorexia. I used to be the kind of anorexic who was avoiding food like the pests. I wasn't just counting the calories, I was just not eating at all during several days. Sometimes I was forced to eat when I could not find a way out and that I had no more inspiration for a new lie to tell my parents. There was some lies I was telling like, I need to stay longer after school to finish an homework with others or I want to go out with friends, I could not used this one too much because my parents wanted me home after school and not with friends so I won't do stupid things if I am home with them, which I did obviously. I started amphetamine at this stage of my life, so I became more creative with the lies I was telling them to avoid eating. That was the dreamy drug for me because it suppressed my entire appetite so that was the number one reason why ...

𝑲𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒍-𝒂𝒏𝒏❜𝒔 𝑱𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒚 𝑻𝒐 𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆

Search This Blog