Day 39 : One more step

March 1, 2021

I had my first distributor call today and I experienced a different kind of stress, it was a good stress, a necessary one. What I mean by that is that I wasn't stock in my mind before it was my turn to talk, I was really present in the moment. I would normally think about what I would said and freak the fuck out and not listen to what other said during the call and let my ego killing me with awful negative thoughts. This time, I was able to listen to others and enjoy the moment. I knew that I wouldn't talk with ease but I was okay with it, I made peace with it. I could feel the stress within me but only in a physical way, I talked really fast and my voice was shaking but I was not feeling bad about it because I was aware that it is something that I will get rid of with practice and time. I will have to do it over and over again to gain some confidence within me to be able to talk with ease in front of a large group, in another language.

The difference this time was that I did not judge myself before and after I talked. I was proud of myself. It was not a big deal but for me, it was a big step. It is something new for me and I will continue to push myself even more to get rid of these physical reactions. Being a distributor is really the next step I needed to take to grow more because that is pushing me to do the thing that makes me feel really uncomfortable like talking in front of a group. I already made forgiveness about it but I did not apply myself enough in the real world. I have to fight this fear that I have accepted and allowed within me till it is not a part of me anymore.

I am the one who creates this fear within me and I am also the one who will get rid of it and I will do whatever it takes to be the person I want to be, fearless and limitless. I now truly believe that I can do more in this life and that I have the ability to do it and that failure is a necessity to success.

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