Day 32 : Anger toward the cat

February 20, 2021

My cat is always jumping on my laptop when I am not around and he open so many things and close some important stuff that I am doing on it. He always sit on it to watch the fish and he scratch the aquarium as well. That is pissing me off and I get really mad at him because it wasn't the first time I had to restart something in process. Some thoughts comes up through my mind like : Fuck you Manson, why the fuck you cannot understand that this is pissing me off, the aquarium is brand new god dammit why are you so mean.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger towards the cat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the cat is preprogrammed to hunt and that he don't care about the messed he can cause around him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the cat was doing this just to annoyed me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thoughts : why the fuck you cannot understand that this is pissing me off, the aquarium is brand new god dammit why are you mean ? and Fuck you Manson.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful toward my cat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be pissed off against the cat because he deleted some work on my laptop.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to breathe instead of getting pissed off and create a negative energy within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for the madness,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that Manson also love being on my laptop because it is a hot place to sleep on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be mad about the fact Manson scratch the aquarium when it is in fact just material.

When and as I see myself being pissed off against the cat, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I should have take the responsibility to close my laptop when I am not around knowing that Manson will surely jump on it to sleep on it or to attack the fish and that it is not is fault is he delete everything on my laptop, I am responsible for that.

I commit myself to close the laptop when I am not around.

I commit myself to take a deep breathe if I forgot to close the laptop and the cat jump on it and erase my things instead of going in a mad state.

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