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Day 10 : Alcohol and me during the next year


December 29, 2020 

 I had stop drinking alcohol during three months to see how I would feel and I felt really amazing. I was way more productive and my body and mind was perfectly aligned. I had some family parties recently for Christmas and I had a couple drinks and I went to bed very late. I can see now why alcohol is completely evil.These last few days I experiences some down and I felt tired so I wasn't at my 100% capacity and my mind as tried to trick me plenty times but I was aware it was because I drank. 

Alcohol is part of my programming, I am seeing my family drinking since I am a little baby, I have a picture of me when I was 1 or 2 years old with my sunglasses, holding an empty beer. It is within me since forever and I experience some resistances towards stopping it completely for the rest of my life, even if I am conscious of the damage that it does to me but, I am also aware that it is just the evil ego mind that is trying to convince me that I need it. I feel stupid to experiences those resistance, there is a real fight in my mind because I developed my awareness and I know that it is not what is best and I know that this fight existing just because I drank and ruin the three months without it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get drunk during Holidays because I felt I wasn't able to stay sober with others drunk people around me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feed the evil ego mind with alcohol believing I will have more fun with it when I was in fact suppressing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give poison to my body, which is my temple.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to stick to the memory of me as a baby seeing my family drinking alcohol and accept it as my own reality in the present moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be conscious of the brain damage that alcohol can do and still drink.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live through my pre-programming design during all those years and stopped for a while and ruin it again using Christmas as an excuses to drink again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remembered a past memory of me as a baby, holding a beer and stay with this reality within me as an adult.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience some resistance towards stopping drinking for ever just because it is part of my programming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I am stupid to have ruin those three months sober.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to be self-honest and work through the point of alcohol instead of assuming it was okay to drink on Christmas which was only a weak excuse.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to assist myself with breathing when the desire of drinking comes up.

 When and as I see myself drinking alcohol, I stop and breathe.

I realize that alcohol exist to keep me as a slave in the system so I can stay away from my objectives and goals, it as been created to enslave the entire humanity and keep us dumb so, if I continue on this path I will never achieve anything and never be able to be at my full capacity to help create a world that is best for all where people are not prisoner of this toxic liquid serum of verity and just be real and honest with no need to suppress themselves. I realize that when I feel the need to drink alcohol it is only because I want to suppress myself and it is exactly what my dad is doing to avoid his stress and emotions and I copy that pattern since I am allowed to drink, which is at the age of 14 years old. I also realize that in the world where we live in right now, I need to stand up more than ever to educate the most people I can and if I keep drinking I would not be able to do it but I know I have a lot of point to correct within me.

I commit myself to be realistic and start to stop drinking for an entire year and grow more than ever and make the decision if I stop forever or not after this year.

I commit myself to work through the point of alcohol and let go all the resistance towards stopping drinking forever during the next year and go through all the memories I have with it so it can help me taking the right decision after the year of 2021.

I commit myself to never drink alcohol when my kids will be born.

I commit myself to write to practice forgiveness out loud every time I have the desire to drink, and assist myself with breathe.

I commit myself to always take a deep breathe when I am around people who are drinking and focus on what is best.

I commit myself increase my health and my awareness like never before to be a more effective human being and help those who don't have this choice in life.

I commit myself to always be self-honest and tell my ego to shut up when it wants to get drunk and suppress me and reprogram myself the right way by educating myself more and more with the tools and the group.

I commit myself to stand up and get my distributor license in 2021 and educate the most people I can and show them that this is the only way out.

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