Skip to main content

Day 24 : Tooth fairy, lie and business

January 26, 2021

 I remember losing my first tooth by receiving a ping-pong ball right on the face and I was so excited to put it below my pillow and receive money for it. I did not believed into the tooth fairy for a long time because I caught my father putting the money below my pillow. I wasn't disappointed by the fact the tooth fairy wasn't real because all I cared about was to received the money. At this young age I was already thinking about the money in a insane way. I didn't wanted to tell my dad that I knew about the fact it was him who was giving me the money because I was fearing that he stopped doing it. In my head it was fair enough to lie about the fact I knew because he was also lying with this made up story. The moment I had a tooth  that was about to fall I prepared myself mentally for the pain because it was worth it.

The day I told him that I knew, he stopped giving me money for my tooth, no magic no money. I was mad because I knew that will happened. It has been a three and half year profit for me to the age of six to 9 and half years old. I can't remembered if it was with my last tooth to lose or close to that but I remember losing a tooth at a family diner where all uncles, grandparents , aunts and my parents were and I organize a fundraising for that. Everybody as gave me money. I did business with my tooth.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to my father about the fact I knew he was the one who gave me money fearing that he stop giving me some. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the fear of lack.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be greedy with my dad's money when I was in fact lucky to have everything I had like a place to live and a place to sleep.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that the tooth fairy was a made up story to insist child to think that lying is okay.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire money so much and think that pain was worth it for receiving it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate losing a tooth with money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be honest with myself and with my dad by telling him the truth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to became mad when my father told me that I was old enough to not receiving money for my tooth anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that losing teeth was doing business.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate the family with the fact I lost a tooth and take their money for myself because my dad has stop giving me money for it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into self-pity to receive money from all the family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to don't see that what I was doing was pure abuse.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this lie at my advantage to make money.

When and as I see myself lying to have more money, I stop and breathe. 

I realize that I have this pattern within me of working hard for my money like a good slave in the system and that I already started to participate in the greed of the system that have always failed since forever and I wasn't conscious of the consequences that my lie and my greed had on the entire world.

I commit myself to make a lot of money in the only way that is best for all which is by distributing Techno Tutor. 

I commit myself to make enough money with
to be able to support Earth Heaven.

I commit myself to show the world that self-pity is nothing more than manipulation and that it leads nowhere.

I commit myself to be grateful for having my basics needs met.

I commit myself to participate actively in the creation of a world that is best for all and dedicate my entire life to it by daily actions and applications.

I commit myself to always be self-honest and always be honest with everybody.

I commit myself to raise my child in a total awareness and comprehension of what is best and explain them everything about made up stories like Santa Claus and Tooth Fairy.

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 17 : Fear of bees

January 7, 2021 Last summer, I was making a BBQ outside on the balcony and there was a lot of bees around so I looked for the source to see if it was close to me and I remarked a little honeycomb very close to the door. My first reaction was fear because it triggered a really bad memory within me. I wanted it to be burned immediately because that's what my father used to do when there was one to close to the house. When I was a 9 years old, I was playing in the schoolyard with my friends and I had this brilliant idea to go on the other side of the fence, I was feeling adventurous. My two friends went first and they passed in the little forest with ease without anything happening. When it was my turn to jump the fence, I did it successfully but I got stuck in something. I thought it was one of those plants that have some spikes on it so I didn't want to moved in case I make the situation worst. It started to become really painful all over my body so I started to freaked out and...
Post a Comment
Read more

Day 12 : Eating disorder/Anorexia

January 1st, 2021  I talked about my self-image problem in a previous blog that I wrote and I wanted to come back on the point of the anorexia. I used to be the kind of anorexic who was avoiding food like the pests. I wasn't just counting the calories, I was just not eating at all during several days. Sometimes I was forced to eat when I could not find a way out and that I had no more inspiration for a new lie to tell my parents. There was some lies I was telling like,  I need to stay longer after school to finish an homework with others or I want to go out with friends, I could not used this one too much because my parents wanted me home after school and not with friends so I won't do stupid things if I am home with them, which I did obviously. I started amphetamine at this stage of my life, so I became more creative with the lies I was telling them to avoid eating. That was the dreamy drug for me because it suppressed my entire appetite so that was the number one reason why ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Day 16 : My experience with hypnosis

January 6, 2021 When I was 14 or 15 years old, I remember that my mom bought  us ticket for a show, it was a hypnosis show with a man called Messmer, he is very popular here in Canada and also in France. At the first part of the show he tried something with all the public to see who is a good potential person to be on stage and it did not worked on me. I was looking at those on stage who were hypnotized and I thought it was impossible to agree to do such stupid things in front of a huge public like this and that it must be a show that is prepared in advance with those person who agreed to go on the stage before the show and acted like it worked. At the second part of the show he tried another thing, we had to put our hands together with our two index up only, separate from one another. We had to closed our eyes and he said a thing like " okay now, you feel your two index come closer and closer and more closer... after that he said " okay now, those who have their fingers stuc...
1 comment
Read more